Hit the reset button

The last 18 days have been very informative.

First of all, I have a lot to be grateful for...I have not had major sicknesses or injuries since I was a kid, my body is strong, I live in a transit rich area. Getting around without a car or bike is not a big deal, just have to refuel the Clipper card more often and budget more for transportation.

Having an injury give me more empathy for those who are challenged with mobility issues every day. My parents for example.

Two weeks of taking MUNI buses and trains were a nice reminder of why I commute on my bike. MUNI is fine, most buses for the commute were respectable and people were well behaved. I was bothered by one driver who kept driving in the bike lane and beeping at cyclists, likely because a bus beeped at me creating a sense of urgency right before I hit the tracks. I logged a complaint with 311.

Also, the mind does a lot of crazy shit when one goes from being really active to having an injury. My anxiety has been really high, no doubt due to less activity, and there is this flipping of the mind from 'should I push and do this'? or 'should I rest'? Fuck it is crazy making. I'm aware that my injury was not major, and my brain still did this. It is unpleasant.

Today my doctor gave me the all clear to do whatever activity I want. She wasn't restricting me before, it was up to me as to how much I could move my knee. But now I have some reassurance. Antibiotics will be done in 5 days. There is no need to amputate. Just kidding. There was never a threat of that sort of thing.

I got on the bike for the first time Saturday. At first the knee felt really stiff and I didn't want to bend it all the way, I found myself scooting back on the saddle to keep my leg straighter. The thing that was bothering me the most was how tight the bandage and my jeans felt at the bendiest point of the pedal rotation. There is a slight amount of mental trauma from the accident, but I'll work that out with my therapist eventually.

There is an overnight camping thingy this weekend. That should be fun and hopefully it will sort out the lingering anxiety and bullshit.

Endurance training and meditation have taught me to return to the breath, start over, hit the reset button.

Then roll on.